Not Just Small People: Seeing Children Clearly

Because They Said So: Childism, Gentle Parenting, and the Forest School Rebellion

In her book Because I Said So, Sarah Ockwell-Smith names something many of us feel but rarely say out loud: childism — the quiet bias against children that shows up in everyday life. It’s the brushing off of big feelings, the expectation of instant obedience, the habit of seeing children as tricky or defiant instead of curious and complex.

At Leafy Legends, we see childism not just as a cultural pattern — but as a daily invitation to do things differently.

Childhood isn’t just practice for adulthood – children are important now. And the more we understand and accept this, the more likely that they will grow up feeling happy and confident and knowing their voices matter. 

What Is Childism?

Ockwell-Smith calls childism the last acceptable prejudice. While society is learning to challenge racism, sexism, and ableism, children are still often silenced, rushed, and expected to fit into adult rhythms. “Respect” is demanded from them, but not always offered in return.

Even kind, thoughtful adults can fall into patterns of control — often passed down from how we were raised. But childism isn’t just about rules. It’s about whose voice gets heard, whose needs are honoured, and whose feelings are allowed to take up space.

Leafy Legends: A Practice of Listening

At Leafy Legends, we don’t just guide children — we listen to them. We let them lead. We treat their emotions as real, their ideas as important, and their autonomy as something to protect.

It’s not always tidy. Sometimes it means sitting with a firm “no.” Sometimes it means trusting a child’s process, even when it’s slow, muddy, or unexpected. But we’ve seen what happens when children are treated with respect: they build bridges, stir potions, design dens, and share quiet wisdom that adults often miss.

Gentle Parenting Meets Wild Learning

Ockwell-Smith’s gentle parenting approach fits naturally with our Forest School ethos. Both centre emotional safety, natural consequences, and deep trust. But where gentle parenting often happens at home, Forest School offers a shared, outdoor space — where children can be themselves in the company of others and trusted by grown-ups.

We don’t ask children to earn our respect. We offer it freely, and watch what grows.

Drop-Off: A Quiet Act of Trust

One of the most meaningful moments in our week is the drop-off. It’s not just a handover — it’s a shift. When a parent steps back and a child steps forward, something changes. The child becomes the main character in their own story, autonomous, independent and respected.

An Invitation

If you’ve ever felt uneasy about how children are treated… If you’ve watched your child shrink under pressure… If you’ve longed for a space where they can be wild, kind, and whole — you’re not alone.

Childism is real. But so is the alternative.

At Leafy Legends, we’re building something different — not with slogans, but with muddy boots, shared stories, and quiet revolutions. We’d love you to join us — not just for a session, but for a shift in perspective.

Let’s treat children as people. Let’s listen before we lead. Let’s change the world, one den at a time.

leafylegends@outlook.com

'A vital read, not just for parents but anyone who values the next generation' Psychologies

The Forest School Podcast with Lewis Ames and Wem Southerden - A conversation with Gentle Parenting Author - Sarah Ockwell-Smith